In chapter two of the book Thank You for Arguing, Jay Heinrichs writes about the difference between fighting and arguing. He mainly uses a study done by a psychologist John Gottman where they videotaped married couples over nine years. After the nine years they watched all the arguments and fights and came to the conclusion that both happy and unhappy couples fought. The difference was that the couples who stayed together used their disputes to solve the problem, where the couples who didn't used these to attack each other.
So how does Rhetoric help with arguing? The difference is that when you're arguing you're probably using rhetoric, while fighting is a different story where the only goal is to win the confrontation. In the book it uses the example of his son, George, where when his words failed him he used his fists. George was only trying to win the confrontation but in the end this can lead to revenge or hatred towards him.
Rhetoric helps people get what they want and to achieve a goal during an argument. It might take a lot of courage and pride to do this but it will have a better result. For example say someone starts talking to you and you get into a fight/argument, it might be easy to just get mad at him and start a fight back but that outcome will be way worse then if you use Rhetoric and an argument and try to persuade him to leave you alone, what you should want to happen. Rhetoric requires more of a skill but many people have some experience in this since most of us have been in a argument before. So do you think that winning a fight is better and leaving bad blood between you guys or using rhetoric within and argument and achieve peace and your ultimate goal in the discussion?
To answer your final question, using rhetoric in an argument is always better because it provides logic where as a normal argument may only include opinions. However you will not always come to peace while using rhetoric, the other person may still disagree and stay heated but at least you reasoned well. Even though the use of rhetoric is a much better route, it may not always work and you need to keep that in mind.
ReplyDeleteUsing rhetoric within an argument is always the best way to go even if you are really passionate and just want to fight. It requires more thinking and listening, but in the end there is always a better outcome to the confrontation.
ReplyDeleteBetween those two options, rhetoric is the better solution. Fighting in my opinion it so useless definitely if it gets physical. But if you can use your education and rhetoric to get to a solution you will have better results.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say I have used rhetoric without recognizing it. I cannot stand fighting, but I love to argue. The art of persuasion is so fun to read about. This chapter intrigued me. Arguing is a very handy technique. I enjoyed reading this chapter as well.
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